God Knew

Last week we celebrated our son’s 7th birthday. Chandler is the youngest of our three children. His brother/best buddy/arch nemesis Jett is 8, and big sister Zoe is 10.  They are all very close in age. One of the benefits of this is that they all can play pretty well together (except for when they don’t).

One of the drawbacks is that there was a period of time when we had 3 children ages 3 and under. I don’t remember much from this period of my life…

Without getting too personal, I’ll simply say that Chandler was a surprise in our family. After Jett was born, we were quite happy and exhausted with our 2 children. We were thrilled to have one boy and one girl and chuckled at the idea of having more kids any time soon.

Since God lives outside the constraints of time, soon is a very relative term. When we found out a third child was on the way, it was quite a different reaction than the first 2 children. Yes there were tears, but not tears of happiness and joy. Tears of fear and anxiety. Feelings of unpreparedness and inadequacy. We were not ready. We were still getting used to having 2 children and trying to enjoy every precious moment with them. We wanted to be good parents to our children and had learned from our first 2 that this meant not only time and attention to them, but also time and attention on ourselves to even out the imbalance of our kid-driven lives. There were a lot of prayers drowned with worry and concern. Outnumbering ourselves with a 3:2 ratio of children to parents was not part of the plan yet.

After a few months, we had come to terms with the inevitability of the situation. This baby was coming. We were thrilled when we found out the gender, knowing (and hoping) that Jett would have a close brother and lifelong buddy. This didn’t ease a lot of the concerns we still had, especially financial concerns, but it did bring some measure of joy to the situation.

Of course when Chandler was born, both Amanda and I knew right away that it was right. This red headed, chubby cheeked, big mouthed, healthy and strong baby boy was supposed to be there. God knew he belonged in our family. And we would soon learn even better that God knew we needed him at that time in our lives.

He was such a peaceful and sweet baby. Before Chandler, we had lost some peace in our home. Chandler brought peace. And with peace, happiness and joy. It wasn’t easier by any means. 3 kids 3 and under is no joke! Constant care, naps, dirty diapers, screaming, sleepless nights, loud car rides, etc. My incredible wife who stayed home all day caring for these children took the brunt of it while I worked during the day and then did what I could to help when I came home. It was nuts. We were going out of our minds! But amongst it all, there was more peace with Chandler in the home.

I don’t know what we would have done without him. Somehow adding one more to our family made life a little sweeter. Chandler was a happy, smiley, snuggly, wonderful baby and toddler. He maintains these qualities still as one of the world's newest 7 year olds. The pure joy he brings into our family completely outweighs the chaos.

Around this time of experiencing life with baby Chandler, we were visiting my in-law's home at Christmas with most of my wife’s family. My in-laws have a piano in their living room and often times I sit down to play and entertain all my little nieces and nephews in the room, usually with silly songs that I sing and make up as I go. One time one of my sweet little nieces named Everly, about Chandler's age, was sitting next to me on the piano bench, so I started making up a song with her name in it. The melody I made up stuck with me and shortly after I composed it into an actual song.

While the song is about my sweet little niece Everly, it’s also about how innocent, peaceful, and pure small children are and how often times their presence and love helps to calm the storms of adulthood and parenting. Countless times I’ve held my own children during moments of struggle unbeknownst to them, and immediately would feel overwhelming peace and calm. Not to say my problems were solved by holding my little ones, but that those moments were gentle and powerful reminders of love that helped me to keep going through whatever my struggles were. I’m continually blessed to have my own children in my life and the happiness they bring me is immeasurable. And sweet little Everly tinkering on the piano by my side became the inspiration for this song and sentiment.

These are the lyrics to the song:

"Everly I think that we can see,
The innocence of life's full melody,
Everly,
Though a song might seem too long,
I'll keep it brief there's more inside than what it seems,
Everly,
The timing of your little hands that reach,
Created in a moment of our need,

When I hold you in my arms,
Your perfection calms the storm,

I believe you can achieve,
The vision of your mission,
Your deepest intuition,
Is not just so we can find some peace,
But open hearts and feelings,
Can rest and find some healing,

Everly, completely free is how we'll be,
A feeling needed desperately,
Everly,
Though mistakes it breaks the slate,
That not too long ago could just be wiped clean,
Everly,
Your life is one of purity and peace,
Examples to us all of how to be,

When I see you on your knees,
All the fire and darkness cease,

I believe you can achieve,
The vision of your mission,
Your deepest intuition,
Is not just so we can find some peace,
But open hearts and feelings,
Can rest and find some healing,

Everly, there's a reason we believe,
That there's a bright eternity,
Forever-ly"

Here is a video of the song for reference:

There is no greater blessing than family. There is no greater love than the love for children. Before Chandler was born, my wife and I did not know just how much we needed him in our family.

But God knew.