Harry Potter and the Anchorage Flasher

Just days before my oldest daughter's 15th birthday, she, Tommy, Caleb, and I were waiting in line in Anchorage, Alaska so we could see the first Harry Potter movie. There were just two people in line ahead of us, and the line went all the way around the building.

I had been reading the kids all the Harry Potter books, so when the movie came out we were more than a little excited to see it.

As we visited with the people around us in the dark, bitingly cold November air of Anchorage, one of them became inappropriately interested in a theater employee. She was a pretty young woman who was obligated to stand out there in the cold with us to tell people how to form the long line.

She was was obviously not interested in the advances of this man.

Then without any warning at all, this man partially dropped his pants and exposed himself to this female employee!

She turned to me and said, "I'm going to need your help keeping him here."

Question: you've been asked to confront a flasher and detain him until police arrive: how do you do that?!

I nodded at the woman, then turned to my three kids and said, "Guys, dad is going to look like he is really angry and about to get in a fight. Don't worry; I'm not really mad. I just have to keep this guy here until the police come."

I walked up to the flasher, put my face right in his face, and in the most menacing way I could, I said between gritted teeth, "That's. My. Daughter!" (and I pointed to Jessica).

Up until that moment, this guy and his friend were laughing about what he had just done.

But now the blood just drained from his face, and his eyes filled with fear.

I shot an angry glance at his friend as if to say, "Are you going to mess with me?!"

His friend literally backed away from me, left the line, and walked toward the parking lot. He was gone and we never saw him again.

The flasher started to leave as well, but I said, "NO! You stay right here!"

Then, without touching him, I moved closer to him. He walked backwards away from me until he tripped on the bottom part of the building which jutted out about 8 inches from where the walls of the building were. He fell backward against the large double pane window of the building. He was half on the sidewalk, and half propped up against the window.

"Good idea," I growled. "You stay right there."

In the background I could hear the theater employee talking on her walkie talkie with someone who told her that the police were on the way, so I made up a lecture on the spot to give this guy about respecting women — so that he wouldn't overhear that the cops were coming.

The guy got back on his feet and looked like he was going to take off. I figured I'd gone as far as I could without touching him, so now I was going to have to get carefully physical.

But right then the employee stepped up and grabbed my bicep. "You look really strong," she said, "Do you work out?"

I almost broke character and started laughing.

"Five times a week," I said. "And my grandfather was a golden gloves boxer — and a great teacher," I said, glaring at the flasher.

The door opened to let people into the theater, so the line started moving forward. My kids looked at me like, "Dad, what do we do?"

"Save me a seat next to you; I'll find you after the movie starts," I told my kids.

I don't think I've EVER seen my kids' eyes so wide!

The police came, the employee briefed them, the guy was arrested, and I gave my statement and contact information to the police. Then went in to find my kids.

"How on earth am I going to find them in a dark, sold-out theater?" I wondered.

"DAD!" came the loudest whisper you can possibly imagine.

Huh. That wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be!

In the following days, the police followed up with me and told me the guy plead guilty, so I didn't have to testify in court.

And that, my friends, is my memory of seeing the first-ever Harry Potter movie! 🙂